Women & Recovery
Posted on October 30th, 2008 in Addiction/Recovery | 2 Comments »
Women & Recovery
Earlier this month (October 18, 2008), I spoke on a panel at the Summit Conference located at Loyola Marymount University. The subject was focused on Women & Recovery. I was asked to speak about my experience working with women who struggle with drugs, alcohol, and sex/love addiction. A question was raised, what is different about treating women versus treating men?
There was a rich discussion that came from this question. Though there are many similarities between both women and men, there are some key differences that must be treated differently.
Some of the issues we discussed focused on the differences of:
- Culture
- Level of stigma and shame
- Role expectations at home/work
- Competition with other women
- Subtle sexual gestures w/face & body
- Power of Sexuality
- Economic/Financial issues
- Relationship with child(ren)
- Distrust/Mistrust
- Different methods of communication
- Sexual abuse
- Domestic violence
- Sexual orientation
These were just some of the differences we discussed. But what stuck out the most regarding treatment was the need for collaboration between the recovering woman and her treatment team. Making sure that the recovering woman feels heard and respected.
I spent some time talking about the richness of joining a group or community of other women in recovery. Joining a community with other women can help challenge old beliefs, transform past abuse, reduce stigma or fear and ultimately develop a bond of strength and hope.
What Do You Think?
I would like to know what you think. Please respond to this Newsletter and share your thoughts and feelings about Women and Recovery. Post your comments on my blog at: http://blog.wholenessandhealth.com/?p=15
Here are some questions to get you started:
- Why do many women say, “I only get along with men,” or “I don’t have any female friends”?
- What do you think are some differences between the sexes regarding chemical dependency and sex/love addiction? And why?
- Do you think joining a women’s group or meeting can be helpful? Why?
Introducing…
William Squier, M.A., iMFT
Beverly Hills, CA
310-623-7923
I am supervising William in my private practice. I find him to be a knowledgeable and compassionate therapist. He recently worked at the Gay & Lesbian Center in Los Angeles, CA. He has experience working with individuals, couples and groups. His specialties are:
- Sex/Love Addiction
- Chemical Dependency
- Gay/Lesbian/Bi/Transgender Issues
- Grief & Loss
Sliding scale offered.
Groups & Other Services
Women’s Process Group
Monday at 7:30 p.m. – 9 p.m., Beverly Hills, CA
Gain insight, develop effective communication skills and increase confidence with others. If interested in joining this group, please contact Elana for an entrance interview. 2 spaces available!
Women’s Recovery Group
Tuesdays at 7 p.m. – 8:30 p.m., Beverly Hills, CA
Join a group of supportive women who are recovering from various addictive behaviors (drugs, alcohol, sex/love, debt, shopping and codependency). Develop effective boundaries, increase independence skills, and develop skills to stay sober. Starts November 2008!
Foundations of Recovery
(Individual Recovery Packages)
Elana offers Foundations of Recovery a package which includes 2-3 individual sessions weekly for an affordable monthly cost for individuals who are in their early stages of recovery from drugs, alcohol and sex/love addiction. Contact Elana to learn more about this special offer.
2 Responses
Hi,
My name is Tamara. I’m a recovering sex addict, sober now for 4 years. I found your blog when it surfaced on my Google alert for women sex addiction blogs.
What you say is key. We must have a community of
fellowship where we can feel safe from judgment and condemnation. I think the Internet will be perfect for that, at least for a start. However, it is critical to be involved in a recovery group and attend regularly. Get an accountability partner who will help you stick to your boundaries.
I like your questions, because they are pivotal to sex addiction in women. For me, I never got along with other girls. I had only few ‘girl’ friends, but lots of boys for friends. I think the reason for it is, we see other girls as competition; and if we are the only girl in a group of boys, all the better to get all the attention! We see other girls as ‘bitches’, when we ourselves are just as much a bitch as the others. Something strange, however, as I grew older and went into the darkest days of my sin and addiction, I became bi-sexual. But, I didn’t want to be with a woman in a loving relationship, I was just as much a womanizer to women as the worst men had been to me. It was sad really.
As to the differences between the sexes… I think women in general tend to be more relationship oriented in their sex/love addiction…seeking the next great relationship… ‘maybe this will be the one’. I didn’t follow that pattern myself, I was more like a man, use ‘em then dump ‘em. Brutal really. I wasn’t looking for a relationship at all, with one exception –my drug dealer, who I had fallen in love with. (or so I thought)
Since, getting sober and committing my life to Jesus Christ; God has called me to minister to other women like myself who are hiding in the deep shame that comes with sex/love addiction. I have recently started a website to do exactly what you’re talking about, form a community where women who struggle with sex addiction, have been affected by pornography or homosexuality can come to a message board, chat, share and help each other. My ministry is just beginning, so I don’t have a lot of traffic yet. But I don’t despise the day of small beginnings.
Great job on your blog, Elana. I look forward to reading more in the future. God bless your efforts to help bring restoration to hurting women…
There are so many differences in the male and female and personality that it is virtually impossible to treat their paths to recovery in the same manner. Women respond to the world in general in a totally different manner than men do and that is why I think it is so critical to have varying recovery and treatment programs that will fit one’s own individual needs. What works for one is not necessarily going to work for another and I hope that more and more professionals in the treatment field are coming to this realization. Recovery is very much an individual journey for everyone who undergoes the process and that means that we have to really listen to one’s unique needs to determine what is going to best work for her as she starts this painful but ultimately rewarding path to rediscovery, self worth, and sobriety.